Wedding crashers!

Tim and I got all snazzied up in our floral prints on Saturday and headed to a wedding, courtesy of TK and family.  Gugu, TK's wife, was the maid of honor and insisted we come.

Ok, first thing to know about Zulu weddings: there are multiple "Sessions".  That's right.  Sessions.  Like a workshop or a meeting.  And they are titled as such in the program.  We made it for Session 2.  Session 1 is the ceremony.  Session 3 is the traditional part, with dancing and singing that evolves into an all night dance party to my understanding, kind of like the 21st birthday party or umemulo I went to a couple weeks ago.  Session 2, which we attended, involves the introduction of the bride and groom, toasts/tributes (yes, tributes), and food.  And all of these components take place in different locations, meaning a lot of transport and commuting.  This is why we opted to just attend one session under TK's guidance.

So, first and foremost, the decor is, um, how do you say, fantasitcally awesome and fabulous!!!!  It kind of reminded me of quincienneras for all those Cali kids out there.

Session 2 begins with a reenactment of the procession.  Now, being a bridesmaid or groomsmen here in South Africa is a little different than in the US.  It's not a simple commitment to just walk down the aisle, maybe have to make a speech if you are the maid of honor or something.  Oh no.  You have to have skills.  WALK down the aisle?  Oh, hells no.  You do badass choreographed dance steps!  That's right.  We think we white people are all creative coming up with that shiznit in that YouTube video.  Nope.  We stole that shit from Africa people, where people actually have rhythm.  Now I understand why Thuli is tentative about making me a bridesmaid in her wedding...

First of all, let us appreciate the bridesmaids' outfits.  That's Gugu w/ her back to us.

There's Gugu in front, making sure everyone is in time.

There they go!  Shake it!  And you best believe the bride and groom follow with their own hot steps!

Once the bridal party is settled at the head table, the program begins.  First of all, there is an MC.  No joke.  And there is cinematic lighting for the old school video camera recording everything, not to mention quite the PA system, even a TV hooked up showing the festivities real time, though it's a small TV and is set up behind the person speaking.... so not really sure of the benefit....  Oh, and there is a DJ.  And I'm not talking like a stereotypical wedding DJ, I'm talking like a wicka wicka wa, spintables DJ, who plays entrance and exit riffs for all the speakers.  I like their style.  The speeches were mostly in Zulu, but we could pretty much get the jist.  No matter where you are in the world, there is the uncle that will not shut up and just keeps talking and talking and talking.  And, as mentioned, these were not just toasts, but also tributes.  Yes, that's right.  I'm talking like badass ballads sung by family, friends, the wedding party, you name it.  Many of them were gospel, all of them were awesome.  Our own lady Gugu took the stage and belted out quite the tune.  Tim and I were thoroughly impressed.

Gugu belting it out!  You go girl! (Because that is exactly what she would say to me ;) )

So, one minute I was in the hall, enjoying the festivities, and then the next minute I was in the parking lot, drinking straight whiskey.  No big deal.  Don't ask me how it happened.  I'm still not really sure.  A big guy, who introduced himself as Round, no joke, who had taken a liking to the lone white people at the event, approached me in my chair, and was like "Your friend, Tim, he's asking for you".  He then took me by the hand and led me out of the hall into the dirt parking lot.  I look back to see TK smiling and giggling and waving goodbye to me.  Oh geez.  What am I in for?  I'm not sure if I should be concerned for Tim's safety (why would he ask for me?), or my own (I was being led by a strange, large man to god knows where).  He leads me to car where I find Tim sitting in the front seat and he hands me a glass of whiskey, "Help me with this.  I'm driving."  I did what I could for the cause, which I will say did not make much of a dent, and it ended with Tim drinking most of the whiskey anyways, and more involved me doing my "whiskey dance", which was a hit, by the way.  We had our food hand delivered to the car.  It's good to be hanging out with the men, you get top notch service.  Gugu also made sure as the maid of honor that we got our hands on some dessert.  All in all, it was a lovely afternoon.  And I can't wait to see what Session 1 and 3 are all about... :)  Next time.

Me, dancing with Round.  Notice how he lives up to his name, and me having a hard time keeping a straight face.

TK and I enjoying our food in the parking lot.  Post whiskey.

The smiling groom.

The blushing bride

Me and the Matron of Honor! (Her official title)

The boys.

Me and our hosts!  And TK being an ass.

 I hope you enjoy the excess of pictures!  I couldn't pick! :)

There are two things involved...

Heeeellllloooooo out there!  Sorry for being a little MIA.  Things were a little hectic here last week with the American physician I'm working with on my main project being in town.  It was awesome because we got a lot of work done, but I do have to say that it was a little bit of a shock to the system to be working at American efficiency pace again.  Anyway, the project is really coming together and I am really stoked on it.  I'm sure I will be talking lots about it as we continue to move forward.
This weekend was good times with a belated birthday party on Friday, which was mad fun, and again involved all aspects of brie, pool party, and dance party, as well as a group of Peace Corps volunteers looking for refuge.  The highlight though was Saturday, when TK took Tim and me to a wedding.  There is definitely a story there, and pictures!, but currently the Internet is moving a little slow here, so I'm gonna keep this short and just tempt you with promises of what's to come.

What I will give you is a little clip of some more African comedy.  I have been enjoying some African stand-up today myself, so thought I would spread the wealth and let you feel like you were right here with me :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlmYsUiyhDc

It's one of THE most popular jokes/bits in Africa.  Everybody knows it and references it all the time.  It is actually a Nigerian comic.  Gives a good sense of how there is humor in any reality and finding this humor is an important part of accepting the reality and surviving it.

B to the day!

Reasons my birthday was awesome:
1. I got to sleep in.
2. I had peanut butter toast and papaya for breakfast- two of my favorites.
3. I got to read a trash book (my quality literature on my nook conveniently ran out of batteries and we had no power to recharge).
4. My friends surprised me with a birthday cake by 11 am, the best time for cake.
5. Was drinking by noon.
6. Got to swim in my own personal (now clean) pool.
7. Was treated to a dinner of prawns (my favorite!) by friends. - PS: No one does prawns like South Africans on the brie.
8. Had an amazing accompaniment to dinner of one of the most incredible lightning storms I've ever seen.  And it didn't hurt that we were eating at a restaurant located at the point of the estuary aka awesome view.
9. The CD player in our big purple bus worked!  Woot woot!  And my awesome roommate chose Led Zeppelin for our soundtrack.  Good call friend.
10. Oh, and did I mention I'm in Africa?!  Life is good.

Jezebel...

The song that has been stuck in my head all week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDMBB3lAMPE

Actually a mash up of three awesome house songs, but the last one is the one that I can't get out of my head.  It's also a good example of Zulu and their awesome dancing.  Pretty good representation of the party scene.  Great way to bring in the weekend.  Enjoy!

Food.

Last week I had the chance to help Gugu, TK's wife, make some traditional Zulu food.

That is the beautiful Gugu in my kitchen, and that is the awesome pap, specifically stiff pap.  Pap is a staple of their diet, made from corn meal.  The traditional Zulu food is corn based.  Just plain pap is a porridge form of the corn meal that they often eat at breakfast, and can combine with jam or honey, fruit, whatever.  Stiff pap is a thickened version, with cream and butter added, as well as any desired seasoning and/or accompaniment, like sweet corn in the one we made (hence the yellow dots).  Gugu says she often uses garlic flavored butter, or adds mushrooms or whatever is lying around the fridge, and this seasoning Aromat, which is apparently just straight MSG.  Stiff pap is often the starch to the meat of dinner, but depending on budget, may be the only thing for dinner.  It's super filling, definitely has the calories, but pretty much zero nutrition.  It's nice when you can add fresh vegetables like we did, but again, that's a budget issue.

The example of pap lends itself to a larger discussion of the concept of food and eating in South Africa.  I can't tell you the grief I get here about my cooking and my eating habits, so I've had more than a few discussions about these topics.  Things I get crap about:

- Lunch is a hot meal, like dinner.  That I usually bring a cold lunch causes concern.  They believe that's why I'm so skinny.  Well, they might be partially true...  A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is usually acceptable enough to not get any direct comments, but if I try and just do peanut butter with crackers and/or apples, they think that is ridiculous.  Those are snacks.  Pretty much anything with crackers is a snack, no matter how many you eat.  I've tried to explain that crackers are just another form of bread, but they are not having it.  In the last week or so I have brought in a couple leftovers that I warmed up and they got sooo excited!  "Oh!  Jessica actually cooked!  She is eating a hot lunch!  Everybody look!  It's amazing!"  Seriously guys?  I tell you that I cook every night.  Hilarious.

- Pasta is not cooking, in any form.  When I first told them I cook, they were very impressed.  Then they asked me what I cook.  I said, "Oh you know, spaghetti...".  "Ooooh, that doesn't count."  I'm sorry, what?  Spaghetti doesn't count?  When I tried to explain that it wasn't just pasta, but a meat sauce as well that actually resembles a lot of their dishes, nope, not having it.  Doesn't count.

     - Sidenote: When I actually brought in spaghetti for lunch one day, and they actually saw and smelled the products of my labor, they were very impressed, mouths watering.  Ha.  So there.

- Meat should be part of every meal.  The idea that I don't eat meat at every meal astounds them.  Also their other major issue with my lunch usually.  While in some cultures meat is considered a luxury, it is still rural enough here that they keep their own livestock, including goats, chickens and cows, so meat remains a staple.  The way they explain it to me is that they eat what's at their fingertips, so what they can provide for themselves, the animals they keep, the vegetables and fruit in their gardens, and what they can afford in the store, so cheap bulk products, like corn meal (and cheap, filling junk food).  The vegetables and fruit have the potential to round out their nutrition, but due to drought conditions here and the changing culture (more pressure to make money through employment, working long hours, less time for the labor to keep a garden), these become limited, leaving meat and corn meal, meat and pap, pretty much the standard diet here.  And then there are those that aren't even able to afford meat, which leaves straight pap, which does the job, fills the belly, and that's it.

This leads to the other major difference we talk about: the end goal of eating in our cultures.  The end and only goal for them: get full.  Yes, we are also striving for this, but we are also (or at least try to be) conscious of other objectives of eating, such as health and nutrition.  Like they think it's so hilarious that I think about  more than just ending up full when I plan a meal, like it being balanced.  I'm such a silly goose!

I'm trying to create an open exchange of recipes and cooking lessons, and while they are more than willing to provide on their end ("We will teach you how to ACTUALLY cook"), they are less open to accepting in return.  They are pretty settled that they don't like American food and what I have to offer.  But, I am obviously expected to try all of their food and enjoy it.  Really fair guys.  I guess I was the one that chose to move halfway across the world and stick myself in the middle of their business.  When in Rome...  I have to give credit to Gugu who is always willing to at least take a bite, and usually enjoys it.  And Tony ate my food despite confessing that is was "different than what I'm used to" and ended up enjoying it.  Though Tony is a boy and will pretty much eat anything you put in front of him.  That remains true in any culture.

I bless the rains down in Africa...

Gotta make this quick cause the power is in and out.

Here's a couple New York Times articles from today that speak to what I'm doing.  The first one is very obviously related, talking about health solutions in rural Africa:

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/18/health-care-and-the-art-of-motorcycle-maintenance/?hp

And the second one actually based in the good ol' U.S. of A.  Kansas no less.  How does this have anything to do with what I'm working on you say?  It actually closely relates to the topic of culture discussed in the last couple posts.  Take a peek:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/19/science/earth/19fossil.html?_r=1&hpw

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Cross the line...

Last week I had the opportunity to observe a workshop about sexual and reproductive health and rights, with a focus on abortion.  The workshop was run by the same organization, Ipas, that is funding the grant I am working on.  Ipas focuses on women's health and reproductive rights, clearly.  I was there partly out of personal interest but also because we will probably be integrating part of this curriculum into ours for the grant.  The audience was mainly home based health workers from Mpilonhle, mostly women who don't speak a lot of English.  They service homes with HIV+ learners or homes of learners who have an HIV+ person living with them.  The workshop covered basic sexual and reproductive health and rights and then focused in on abortion, reviewing the legislation in place in South Africa, doing values clarification exercises, and having discussions.  The challenging part for me was that most of it was in Zulu.  God, what I would have given to understand what those people were saying.  Clearly they were having very engaging and passionate discussions, and I could only imagine what was transpiring.  This experience alone inspired me to learn Zulu.  I was so curious to hear their voices on this issue that is so challenging.  What is their understanding of it?  What are their questions?  How do they feel about it?  Why?  As discussed in yesterday's post, it is so valuable  for me to experience an issue firsthand in order to really understand it, see it and feel it as they do, rather than assuming I know.  There is a clarity that comes with personal experience that sticks with me in a way that I can't achieve no matter how many times I've read or been lectured on the material.
Though I was not able to understand much of anything being said, I was still able to achieve this enlightenment.  It came through the values clarification exercises.  They were particularly interesting to me because I had actually participated in some of them in similar workshops back home, like Four Corners, where a statement is read aloud and you stand in a corner designated strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree depending on your stance.  In this exercise it was interesting to observe the similarities of the outcomes to those at home, for example there was never a complete consensus with any of the statements, there was always a spectrum of opinions.  The exercises were also more action based, not a lot of talking, so I could observe and understand what was going on, and the point being portrayed.
My moment of clarity came during the exercise called "Cross the line..." where a statement is read, and if it is true for you, you step over the line.  The first statement was "You were raised to believe that abortion should not be openly discussed".  Most people crossed the line.  Not surprising.  Second statement: "At some point in your life, you believed abortion is wrong".  Everybody crossed the line.  Again, not surprising.  It's understandable that anyone would struggle with this issue and easy to believe that at some point it crosses everybody's mind that it is wrong, especially in a more conservative culture.  Then the third statement: "You were raised to believe that abortion is a woman's right".  Not a single person crossed the line.  Not one.  This is the one that got me.  Sure, the response to the other two might of suggested this response, but for some reason the stillness and quiet of not a single person moving was astonishing.  I wasn't expecting a lot, don't get me wrong, but at least one.  A single person that had the potential to carry on the message, normalize even the idea of someone having this opinion.  But, no.  This message relies on outside forces, such as Ipas, to come in and provide education.  It is one thing to foster a movement that has its strongholds, its another to come in and totally introduce a whole new way of thinking.
And here we run into the challenge faced by most every public health issues as well as many other issues burdening mankind, economic, political, etc, etc.  I've personally been reading all about it in my research about teenage pregnancy.  All these issues are complex and multi-faceted, and we must respect them as such.  We have learned that trying to tackle an issue through an intervention focused solely on one aspect will quickly be overwhelmed by the influences of the other aspects involved.  So, now we take a big picture approach and try and intervene on many levels.  We have found that we can successfully reach individuals, communities, and even governments.  But, the factor of culture remains a stronghold, the source of stigma and shared beliefs.  There is no proven method to influence culture nor its stigma and beliefs.  So, what do we do?  Like I mentioned yesterday, we do what we can!  Like Ipas coming in to initiate dialogue about abortion among rural Zulus, or Mpilonhle working to normalize HIV testing in learners by coming back year after year to these schools to do repeat screening.  Does it help?  Not totally sure.  Culture moves and changes at its own pace.  What influences it and how remains unclear.  It can get frustrating, that's for sure.  And sometimes I question, am I really helping/doing good if I'm having to come in and introduce an entirely new viewpoint?  Or am I just inflicting my own views, my own opinion of what's right, on these people?  But, then you look at the maternal mortality rates, especially those associated with botched abortions, or the HIV prevalence rates, and it's obvious something needs to be done.
With all this pondering, I was very excited to find a New York Times article on the developing field of research around the link between culture and poverty:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/18/us/18poverty.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=poverty,%20culture&st=cse
A nice tie in and definitely worth a read.
At the end of the day, I will always remember how not a single person crossed that line, and how the issues of abortion in South Africa suddenly made sense.