So once I got back from all this vacay, it was actually hardcore back to work. I had managed to put together our workshop for peer counselors in the few days I had actually been at work the previous three weeks. It's amazing how things run so much smoother the second time around. There were many less moments of "Jess, haven't you done this?", "No! No one told me I had to do that! What are you talking about?!", which is always a good feeling.
I was looking forward to this workshop in particular because I really enjoy working with the learners. I love my job for a myriad of reasons, but at the end of the day, working with them is really what makes it worth it. They are totally aware of the challenges and problems their peers and communities face and want to do something about it. You don't find that every day. They are willing to do whatever it takes. They are starving for anything you can give them, information, support, guidance. When I've mentioned that we could do workshops but it would have to be on a weekend or holiday, they don't even pause, of course they will come, as excited as ever. It's unreal. When you ask them about the challenges facing adolescents in their schools and communities, they are quick to mention teen pregnancy, HIV, drugs, violence, etc. etc. And then they tell you about the campaigns they are organizing in their schools about these issues, on their own, it's incredible. But, you get the sense that few adults actually ask them these questions, their opinions, their perspective, and they just blossom right in front of you, more than happy to share their wisdom. I truly learn just as much from them as they do from me.
Just to give a sense of the contrast between the adults versus the youth when it comes to these issues, in our workshop for educators, one-third of the expected participants showed up, while during this workshop for the learners, one-third OVER what we expected showed up. I had asked each school to send eight learners, but teachers and principals insisted that they could not just send eight, there were too many students interested. I understand this issue is more complex, but the extremity gives you some sense of the motivation of the youth and why I find them so inspiring.
They not only show up, but they are also prepared to learn. Like any good adolescent they come in with their opinions, which they are ready to state pretty strongly, but they are also incredibly receptive. They are open minded, willing to consider when you suggest a new way of thinking about things. They obviously have questions, but that's the brilliance of it, as you literally watch their minds work, take in information, process it, and fit it into their world view.
Let's give an example: We did a values clarification exercise commonly called "Four Corners", where the group can choose how they feel about a statement from four choices: Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, Strongly Disagree, and then physically move to the appropriate corner. I made our exercise "Three Corners" based on a suggestion from an exercise book and felt it made the learners feel a little safer by offering: Agree, Disagree, and I Don't Know. Anyways, we did a number of statements, including "Women should understand that a man needs to have many sexual partners at the same time, even if he is married". I would say most people were under the "Disagree" heading, and decently sized, but smaller groups under the "Agree" and "I don't know" heading. Boys and girls were in all three groups. So, I was honestly intrigued with the "agree" group, so I asked them why they felt that way? A young man who hadn't done a lot of speaking yet raised his hand: "For us Zulu men, our role model is President Jacob Zuma and he has five fives, and so I should/want to too. Yes." And you know what? He was right. On a certain level, I totally and completely respected this explanation. The president of this country is a polygamist, and even within these marriages, he is well known for not being faithful. Yes, we have our share of presidents who were not faithful, but man did they get some major flack for that. Not such a biggie here. Here, a great example of me learning from them. He very quickly helped me understand how Zulu boys at his age see the situation, something I probably wouldn't come up with myself, being so stuck in my white American femi-Nazi perspective. I don't necessarily agree with his perspective, but I respect it, and that is the first step in trying to influence values and beliefs.
Then Buyile, my co-facilitator from Ipas, made a suggestion: "Now change the statement from generalizations about women and men, and make it a you statement, so instead of 'Women should understand that a man needs to have many sexual partners at the same time, even if he is married.', say 'I should understand that my partner needs to have many sexual partners at the same time, even if we are married.' And this applies to both boys and girls". Suddenly there was quite the uproar. Oooooooooh! How! Boys and girls moved to the "disagree" heading. I couldn't help but smile. To watch them, with open minds, take on the challenge, and so easily adapt, potentially changing the way they approach the world. It's pretty incredible. They aren't like us crotchety old adults, stuck in our ways, wiling to fight tooth and nail to our death for our way or the highway, but these learners are still forming, still developing, still moldable, willing to listen and consider. It's pretty incredible. I guess the scary part is that they are theoretically vulnerable from these influences from every direction. I'm just hoping we are pointing them in the right direction.
Pictures From Day 1
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| The Class |
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| My fearless partner, Buyile, from Ipas |
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| Learning about sexual and reproductive health and rights |
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| Some solid group work going on |
Day Two Pics
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| This is an exercise where they had to draw a dog, a tree, and a house holding the pencil together with no talking, showing that we communicate with more than just words |
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| Some more group work, this time to prepare for a charades like game of acting out different emotions, again to learn about nonverbal communication, in this case understanding that a person doesn't always have to tell you something is wrong for you to know |
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| My fearless partner part deux, Sne |
